Summer: Word Vomit

Leslie requested that I procrastinate, so procrastinate I must!  (Thanks so much for the request because otherwise I would have been stuck studying protein synthesis. BOO!)

So, my dear friends!  I have finished my first set of excruciating exams and I am in a new module--so, another 4 weeks and then crazy exam time…again!  I haven't much to write in the sense of "day in my life."  As Andrea and Claire already know, all I do is study.  It's actually a little depressing.  Therefore, I think I will write about how I miss everyone and the things I miss.  And this ties back into Leslie's post about what makes your soul sing.

Friends and Family:  It took my a while to learn that I'm actually a people person.  In high school, when I first thought about medicine as a career, I thought of it from the perspective of, "If I'm a surgeon, I hardly have to deal with people at all."  This sounds horrible, but it was at a time where…I thought I was 99.9% introverted.  But now, people and specifically, "you people" are my favorite things in the world.  So, number one on the list--my people.

On music, I will agree with Leslie.  As stated above, I suck at finding it by myself, so I depend on my "#1 soul singing" friends.  When I am sad, I often play the Last of the Mohicans soundtrack because I think it's so beautiful.  I am not a very good auditory person, so lyrics are not a strength of mine.  But music moves!  And with this, goes dancing!  With my friends, because I'm not very good at dancing by myself.  (Unless I'm concentrating hard on the Samba--then I dance by myself in corners.)

Nature--Leslie again!  Austin, oh Austin my soul yearns for you!  And for all the national parks and forests and wildflowers and foreign countries with foreign plants and animals--natural beauty.

An aside that just keeps butting in my head and clearly wants to be out:  I am having a hard time not being cynical right now--I've erased many sentences because I don't want to sound depressed, because I'm not.  But when I think about my friends, and the wonderful places you're in, and the wonderful moments I've had with all of you--I remember what all I don't have anymore--at least not close at hand.  I am in a new place with new faces and new challenges.  And I have yet to find something as peaceful and comforting as the greenbelt after a rain, or as joyous as a marching band playing in the waters of Barton Springs, or as freeing as yelling off the Pearl St. balcony with my friends, to my friends, or as exhausting as dancing the night away.  I am incredibly nostalgic whenever I remember that I had a life before this study craze.  And most of all, yes, I miss all of you--because there's no one, so far, that fits quite so well into my life.

Sheesh, I sound like a sob story!  So, moving on with this soul-singing list!

MOVIES!  Especially with a glass of wine…surely just a glass and NOT a whole bottle of St. Genevieve's!  Haha--Fast Times with Ridgemont High!  I also just watched "It's Complicated" with my parents--I thought it was HILARIOUS!  Gotta love Alec Baldwin's cheeky, oddly slick words and, the always-distinguished Meryl Streep.

Back to Nature--getting to Nature.  I hate driving in the city--really, I hate driving in lots of traffic.  Give me a highway or farm-to-market late at night, role down those windows and bellow out some tunes--preferably a burned mix from one of your lovely friends.  EPIC!  I feel so much better if I have a good drive.  And there's something nice about a long road trip on your way to something spectacular.

Swimming--there is no other physical activity that gives me as much…innocent…pleasure.  Even playing soccer does not amount to this.  Swirling and splashing!  The excitement of warm weather arriving.  And sometimes just floating, and hearing your heartbeat slow in the water.  And not only the swimming, but all the places you can go swimming--and I am NOT talking about an overly-cholinated azure blue gym pool.  I'm talking hot springs! lakes! rivers! glaciers! (haha, not) and salt-water pools!

I will quit rambling--because this was not a very well thought out post.  I think I just word-vomited.  Writing this, I find that I have a lot of feelings about starting med school and just how hard it is--not the work, but the change in my life style.  Even though I love people a lot, I find myself getting very tired of always having to meet new people and fit in to a new crowd.  I already have friends that are wonderful, that's enough--I just want a few good friends and I think I already found them for life.

Thanks for listening to me purge and I'm sorry it's not very elegant.  I will strive to write more frequently.  I am forever grateful for all of you writing and tuning in!

Summer